Independent music lost an incredible force last weekend when Jason Molina passed away at age 39. It drives me a little crazy when death is carted around the internet casually as news, so know that this isn’t that. Despite not knowing Jason Molina personally, I did have a personal relationship with his music. For one rare occasion, I feel moved to say something publicly about the death of a public persona.
I discovered Songs: Ohia in the early 2000s after beginning to listen to like-minded regional bands such as Okkervil river and Will Johnson. The independent music community, particularly those who liked indie-folk/alt-country (as I did), buzzed with the name Songs: Ohia when we discussed music. I checked them out and instantly fell in love around the time they converted to the Magnolia Electric Company moniker. The brief and poetic “Two Blue Lights” became one of my favorite songs to put on CDs for friends. I must have seen Jason Molina perform sometime around 2003 and then again at SXSW a few years later. Live, Molina’s songs were just as emotionally arresting as on record, but he was so immediate as a human being onstage before me.
Like many, I only discovered the news about his difficulties in recent years when it became more public knowledge. My friend Mark Baumgarten recently organized a benefit for Molina with some great and generous bands from the Pacific Northwest. I wished desperately at the time that I lived near enough to participate in some way. And I now feel, as I know many others must, that I wish there was more that could have been done. We all walk our paths in life. It’s strange how often beautifully creative people’s lives are riddled with turmoil.
After hearing the news on Monday, I left work, climbed into my car and cranked up “The Dark Don’t Hide It,” another of my Molina favorites. For me, the song always possessed a violently emotional response and rebellious affront to the pain of living. It felt right to belt it out at that moment. But it was tougher today as I wrote this, listening to “North Star.” To hear Jason Molina sing:
“Darling I’m not giving in
That happened miles ago
I heard the north star saying
Kid you’re so lost even I can’t bring you home
I didn’t know how blue I’d get
I didn’t know how I’d get blamed for it
I didn’t choose to go down this road
No one chooses to be sick
I’m saying everything is fine
By the look in my eye
But you know darling
Half of what a man says is a lie
It’s your last chance to forget me now
That it’s done for good
You always said I’d make it out
Somehow darling I knew I never would”
Jason Molina, you will be greatly missed.
